Bipolarations

David Martinez tells of his experience with bipolar disorder through childhood flashbacks that detail his family’s desire to deny that anything was “wrong,” their wariness of therapy, his placement in a classroom for “troubled” youth, his dropping out and his drug use. He describes the relief it was to receive, at age 32, a diagnosis and prescription medication for his condition and his subsequent work to integrate “the boy” he was and the college professor he is now. His story provides insight into how he experiences the “highs” and “lows” of his bipolar condition. He includes self-portraiture to tell his story.  A recurring theme is uncertainty about what is “real”–his euphoric and dysphoric experiences, his diagnosis–and the distinction between internal experience and how one appears to others.

The essay could prompt discussion about the role of family in encouraging or discouraging treatment for mental health issues, the reasons why people may not take medications, the ways people mask or express mental health experiences.

This essay appeared in Please See Me, an online literary journal that features health-related stories by members of vulnerable populations, and those who care for them.

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